Watching the Watchmen, Part Two: The Nitty Gritty

Getting right to it, here are the reasons why I’m skeptical of the Watchmen movie, laid out conveniently in a point by point format.
1. Director Zack Snyder has not proven himself.
Snyder’s adaptation of Frank Miller’s 300 is the item on his résumé that has inspired the confidence of Watchmen fans. However, 300 has less in common with Watchmen than it does with the Dawn of the Dead retread, which Snyder was also responsible for. 300 as a comic lends itself very well to a feature film adaptation. Its main story beats fall easily into the standard three act screenwriting structure, and the narrative is lean and straightforward. Even the artwork is drawn in vast “widescreen” panels, mimicking the aspect ratio of a theatrical feature. In short, Zack Snyder had it easy with 300, and Watchmen will, with absolute certainty, pose a much more difficult (perhaps impossible) challenge for him. If he has showcased a talent in his previous films, it’s choosing projects wisely. This may be his first time biting off more than he can comfortably chew, which brings me to the next point:
2. Watchmen is counterintuitive to cinematic adaptation.
The story is told across 12 chapters, each of which serves as a neatly contained “act.” Furthermore, each panel is packed with information—sometimes narrative, sometimes visual, and often iconographic. There is a moment late in the book when the character Dr. Manhattan makes an observation about his unique perception of time. Without divulging too much, his remark can just as well be taken as an argument for why Watchmen succeeds so well as a comic book, and why it would not work nearly as well if transferred to a medium that lacks the features that are unique to comics. Pointedly, the multiple levels of significance contained in Dr. Manhattan’s comment are just a few of the many details that will not translate to film. Other examples include the text vignettes at the end of each issue, plus the Tales of the Black Freighter (the “comic within the comic” read by a young boy, which provides both metaphorical commentary on the story and subtle information that is crucial to interpreting the ending).
It can be argued that much of the material can be stripped away without sacrificing the basic details of the story, but it is this very material that helps to make Watchmen such a rich and multifaceted experience, as opposed to merely a good story about superheroes.
3. Not all that is good must be adapted.
Baldly put, the popular mode of thinking seems to be that the logical next step for all popular things is to be adapted into a film—that if something is great in its native format, then it would be even better as a movie. This simultaneously grants undue legitimacy to the film medium and shits on the legitimacy of other media, comics in this case. There is no reason to immediately conclude that a consummate self-contained comic such as Watchmen should be made into a film as a matter of course. There’ll definitely be lots of money and Hollywood razzle dazzle involved, but as far as what film has to add to Watchmen, I strongly doubt it’s very much. It will add motion to something that is designed to be motionless, and substitute Dave Gibbon’s fine hand drawings with flesh-and-blood stand-ins. On the other hand, what film would subtract from Watchmen would be detrimental to its appeal. The comic is more than just a story—it’s a rich experience, and simply translating the story to the screen, even with painstaking faithfulness, would leave it incomplete.
If you insist that a comic’s greatest aspiration is to serve as the storyboard for the eventual motion picture adaptation, then you’re placing comics below a glass ceiling. Until people are ready to treat the medium purely on its own terms and not as the R&D division of another medium, they will be holding it back in a state of arrested development. There’s a reason why there is an abundance of forgettable low-quality fare on the shelves, but only a handful of “respectable” titles like Watchmen.
I have discussed this at length with other comic book fans in recent times, and I’ve been accused more than once of wanting to cling to Watchmen as something that only I and other niche readers should be privy to. This is absolutely not the case. I want nothing more than for everyone to experience the richness and quality of Watchmen, but I don’t believe they can do that by watching a misguided, watered-down imitation of it.
Postscript
While writing this entry, it has come to my attention that the Watchmen production is in jeopardy as a result of legal action being taken against Warner Bros. by 20th Century Fox. My thoughts: if you’re excited about this movie, don’t get too upset. WB is spending $120 million on this film, and I doubt they’re going to eat the cost just because Fox saw a golden opportunity and jumped on it. If WB has to give up a cut of the profits, split the merchandising rights, and rent a battalion of hookers to service every top level executive at Fox, they’ll do it. Remember the legal troubles faced by the recent big screen version of Dukes of Hazzard? (Me either, but I’m assured that it was a similar situation.)
Worst case scenario: Watchmen stays on the shelf for a while until WB can get Fox out of its hair, and things proceed normally from that point. John Q. Moviegoer still gets his watered down version of Watchmen. Guys like me still hide in our damp, dark caves, clinging to our dog-eared copies of the trade paperback while scratching our matted hair and muttering “my preciousss” with bitter paranoia. The universe continues to unfold as it will.
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September 1st, 2008, posted by Ken













